The Best Present 2

Day by day just my tears always accompany me, especially when Ronny and I graduated of senior high school. My dad asked Ronny about his favorite university, my dad wants Ronny to continue his study in favorite university. I’ve never heard the question like that to me, maybe my dad forgot or maybe he thought I just garbage or impurities that need to be in a waste. I didn’t know what should I do, sometime I feel hopeless and want to finish my life. But I thought it wasn’t good idea, I have to make they be happy before I close my eyes forever.
I still remember when you and our parent went to your university together. It was your first time in university, and our parent want to make sure, you comfortable or not in your university. Yes it because they more love you than me. When all of you weren’t in home, I went to outside also to looking job, and I was glad a restaurant received me to work there. I will stay there, because the restaurant has mess for the employees. In the night I prepare all my clothes, I put it to my backpack, after that I talked to mom and dad if I will work in a restaurant because I don’t want to continue my study. Suddenly my mom said “ it’s better for you, so we won’t waste much money”. To be honest I wanted to cry when I heard my mom saying like that, but I had to pretend if I didn't heard anything, because I realized my tears wouldn’t change anything.
Wow,,,, I can’t believe I already worked in restaurant almost two years, and when I checked my saving I thought it was enough for move to big city. Well, since I worked in restaurant, only one time in a year I visited my family, it happened when we celebrated our holly day in our religion. Yes, even though they always ignore and avoid me, I will never forget and will never hate them and I will always respect them.
Since 5 years ago I moved to big city, I got great job here hehehe so I got much money and I could continue my study in university here. Yes, I have never told my family about my job and my study here, because I knew they wouldn’t care about it. Hehehehe I took English of my major because I can’t speak English, besides that, there is reason why I took English of my major. I've fallen love to someone and he is foreigner who worked here, yes that is one reason I took English of my major. I want to always with him, he really care so much to me, I can’t imagine if someday I had to live without him. Maybe it will more painful than my family ignore me. Hehehehe we always be naughty, , , yes because we love each other. Ah forget about it.

Mom, dad Ronny I am a Bachelor’s degree now, and I got GPA 4, hehehe I am happy. sorry I didn’t invite you when I was celebrating my graduate in my university. Don’t worry, there is someone who always accompany me here. To be honest I cried when I saw my classmate took pictures with their family in graduation. But my love always ready when to clean my tears. “Don’t be cry, I will always with you,” He always says like that when I cried. I believe him, he will never leave me, and I promised to him to always with him, I saved my money to use with him when he back to his country and marry him there.
My career is very good since I got degree, but suddenly I got news if my brother got accident. My feeling can’t be quite I really worried to him. So, I tried to call my mom “mom, is Ronny ok?, I heard he got accident”, my mom said “if you really care should you visit us” my mom be mad to me I thought and I couldn’t respond her saying because she hang up my calling. When I was in my home, I told my love about my family, he asked me to didn’t visit them. He couldn’t do anything because they are my family. Even though he knew, I will have got bad experience if I visited my family. He always worry if I talked about my family because I already told him about me and my family. Yes I thanks god. God gives me someone who always care to me lucky me.
When in hospital, I saw my mom and my dad. “mom,,,dad, where is Ronny” asked me. “Don’t talk too much, follow us” said my dad. I am glad could see my parent again even though we are in sadness because my brother got accident. “Ryan? Are you Ryan?” Ronny said. To be honest I was wandering why Ronny called my name like that. Suddenly a doctor who handle Ronny comes. “Are you Ronny’s family?” said a doctor, “yes “said my dad. Doctor told us about Ronny, My feeling was painful when I heard Ronny couldn’t use his eyes again. It because something serious made his eyes blind. “Ryan, please come to me, I want to hug you” Ronny asked me to come to him, I hug him and we cried each other. I can feel his tears fallen on my shoulders, that is first time I hug him and feel his tears on my shoulder. My feeling so bad, I said in my heart “god give me miracle to make my brother be better, I promise you, I will do everything to make him be better”. Suddenly Ronny said “Ryan, please forgive me, now I can’t do anything, please keep our parent, because I really useless”.
When I want to respond his saying, my back got painful “sorry Ronny” I tried to stand. “Bad brother” I heard my mom said like that when I told them to go to outside. I went to toilet, and I feel my back painful, what happened with my back. After I lost my pain, I back to my family. I told them if I had to back because tomorrow there is meeting with my clientd. Yes I lied to them, but I couldn’t show my painful in front of them, so I decided to back to my home where my love and me live together. Every day I always get painful in my back but I would never told my love because I afraid he will worry. I went to doctor, and I shocked when my doctor tell my result. I got cancer in my back, and maybe my life won’t be long any more. I really sad, but I will never tell my love and my family because my love will be ad and I did’t know my family because they were focusing to my brother, so I keep my secret by myself.
One day, my love told me if he has to back to his country because his contract in my country already finished. To be honest I wanted to go there with him, but impossible for now, I have cancer in my body and it was serious disease, I didn’t like to make him sad, suddenly I got idea. I told my love if I will never follow him, and I didn’t love him again, because I had new love in my heart. My love really sad and mad to me, he didn’t believe if I cheat on him. If I have to be honest, I sad and my feeling oh I couldn’t explain how my feeling when I had to lied to him, But it was the best way, I didn’t like he be sad and spend his time only for me. My life won’t be long any more, and he deserve to be happy without me. It’s very complicated, but I had to do it because I love him, I really love him I care so much to him. Yes we argue in the night and I heard he said “our relationship finished, I hate you Ryan, I don’t care about you”. My feeling hurt when I heard my love said like that. But that is better “I am sorry my love, I do it because I love you, this painful will be lose soon, I don’t like bother you because of my disease, as you know the cancer will spend much money , and I don’t like you waste your money to help me” said my heart.
Now my love already back to his country, he has never called or message me, but I am glad I saw his picture with a guy on his social media, I hope he will always be happy, but I will always remember him and my heart will never open for other guys. I heard my brother already in home now, and he is better but I still sad because he blind. I feel my body very weak every day, and sometime I couldn’t work like always, I decided to resign of my work because I need to get treatment. I was be happy, I have insurance to cover my disease, and my saving for live with my love in his country enough for my live as long as I got treatment.
Before go to hospital, I called my dad, I lied to him if I will go to abroad because my company send me to work there, and maybe I will, back to my country next year. But in the real, I will not go to abroad, I just will stay in hospital to get treatment. Sorry dad I lied to you.


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